We will all face major and stressful life changes at one point or another. How we cope with them determines the outcome of their impact. We can either let them destroy us, or allow them to help us grow mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually.
2018 has been a year of changes and massive growth for myself and my family. I made the decision to leave my full-time corporate job, grow my business, sell our condo, move-in with my husbands family for a few months, and purchase our first house together.
Most people would look at these life changes as positive and yes, although they have been for the most part, I experienced a great deal of stress, fear, and confusion along the way.
I questioned whether we had made the right decision to move, whether we’d have enough money from my business and Husband’s income, and I absolutely dreaded leaving behind our privacy and cushy life to go (what seemed like) backwards by moving in with family.
I found myself in an almost constant state of panic and anxiety. There were days that It got so bad, I literally made myself sick. I haven’t always done well with change and realized that the older I got, the worst I responded to it.
During all of this, I learned a few very valuable techniques that helped me cope with the changes in a healthy way. It’s best to practice these in the midst of experiencing the stressors in your life.
Write down affirmations
Literally think of ANYTHING that is positive in your situation and write it down. This not only helps to put your situation in perspective, it helps to re-center your focus inwards and brings out all of the wonderful feelings and expectations to the surface.
One night when the anxiety hit hard, I got on my phone, opened the notepad, and typed out all of the reasons I was thankful in that moment. I also expressed my gratitude for the changes including the people in my life. It helped me TREMENDOUSLY. I went back and re-read it several times until I was finally calm and collected.
Pray
Praying has a way of building our faith and helping us deal with our fears. Bring your concerns to our creator/universe and ask for help to endure your situation. It’s important though that as you pray, you feel positive and have the expectation that your prayer was received well, and will manifest when the time is right for you.
For me personally, praying and meditating helps me clear my mind and calms my anxiety. This helps me cope better with the issue(s) at hand and allows me to focus my energy elsewhere by knowing that my prayers have already been answered.
Talk to others
This one can be a little tricky. I’ll be the first to admit that I was reluctant about sharing such a personal struggle with others in my life. After-all, all my stress came from decisions we voluntarily made ourselves. My fear was that all I’d get would be negativity and a whole lotta “you made your bed now lay in it” comments.
I was lucky and pleasantly surprised that upon opening to my closest friends and family, I received nothing but support and positivity. However, It’s important to make sure you talk to the right people as some people can just add to your anxiety.
Stick to the plan
Keep doing the things that are as familiar to you as possible. Continuing to do things that you did before may not always be possible depending on the changes you’re experiencing. However, finding little things that can take your mind off of your current situation can help you deal better with the stress.
This might mean sticking to your regular schedule as much as possible and doing the things that make you healthy and happy.
For me personally, it helped to drive to our old town to go shopping reminding me that I could visit at any time—something that helped immensely with the transition.
Take a break from social media
Although social media keeps us connected and allows us to catch up with people we don’t regularly see, it can sometimes fuel our worries especially during rough times in our lives.
People don’t always post about the difficulties they are going through. This gives the illusion that everyone around you is perfectly happy and healthy all of the time. The truth is, everyone has their own set of problem but may choose to keep them off social media.
For this reason, It might be best to avoid social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram at least until you’ve worked through your own negative feelings first. I personally needed to take a step-back from social media not only because it was stressing me out, but because I refused to “fake” my happiness and pretend like everything was OK—when at the time, they weren’t.
Stay positive.
Remember that all things come together for the greater good. This can be extremely hard to notice at first especially when you are stressed and worried. However, It’s important to understand that no matter how difficult your situation may seem, there will likely come a day where you will understand fully why these changes needed to take place in the way they did.
Is there a lesson you can immediately learn from in your situation? Is there something you can do to stay proactive moving forward? Having a positive mentality gives you hope that your situation is making you better in some way and that things will get better eventually.
Laugh as often as possible.
Humor, in my opinion, is a natural cure for almost anything we deal with in life. Light-hearted banter and taking everything with a grain of salt can help make any situation easier to deal with. I cannot express enough how important it is to find the humor in the changes that are taking place in your life.
I found myself indulging in stand-up comedy, watching funny shows, and just laughing at myself with others. It really helped to lighten the situation and helped me stay sane.
There really is no one-size-fits-all method to deal with changes but many of these tips can help make the transition a lot more smoother and prevent any unnecessary heartache that may ensue as a result.
Keep learning, growing, and never stop striving for becoming the best version of you possible!