We’ve all been there before. We set out to achieve something big, something that excites us and has the potential to change our lives for the better. It might be a new career or business move, pursuing a new way of life or relationships, or even starting a new diet and fitness journey.
We strategically put a plan in place and begin to check off each box confidently as we go. Suddenly and without warning, we become thrown off by challenges that present themselves along the way.
We slowly begin to lose our focus, drive, and ultimately, our desire to carry on with the plan we so carefully devised. Our thoughts become clouded with negativity and fear, and we begin to question whether or not we truly have the ability to continue on this new-found journey.
Although we were once certain that our goal was attainable, our thought process has now successfully led us to believe that it isn’t. Our flaws and shortcomings have become amplified, and the momentum we worked so hard to build, is lost.
Sound familiar? Many people experience this phenomenon when working towards something big. Sadly, of those people, over 90% will become discouraged enough to quit.
Regardless of the types of goals, let’s take a look at some of the reasons that might cause someone to give up trying.
- Negativity from a trusted friend or family member.
- Not seeing results right away.
- Lack of necessary resources readily available.
- Doubt in one’s own ability to perform.
- Unforeseen challenges leading to disappointment.
All of these reasons (and more) can lead us believe that what we’re perusing, isn’t worth it and cannot be attained. So what can you do when you’re faced with this type of resistance?
It’s first important to identify what triggered your desire to quit. Was it due to internal or external forces or a combination of the two?
Once the trigger has been accurately identified, you need to ask yourself four basic questions.
- Is there some validity to this?
- What possible solutions do I have to the hurdles I’m facing?
- Am I doing all that I can to make this happen?
- How bad do I want this?
Answering these questions can help you sort through your thoughts and feelings rationally and help you separate facts from inaccurate information. It will also help to equip you to be better prepared in dealing with self-limiting beliefs moving forward.
When your negative self-talk arises due to any the aforementioned reasons, you need to be ready to combat it using a valid and realistic point of view. I’m a firm believer that if we wish to get ahead, we must embrace solutions, not problems.
So how do you keep going when you feel like giving up?
Remind yourself why you started in the first place.
Your “why” should always be front and center in your mind. It will help to get you through the dark days of uncertainty and doubt which you can be certain will come. Everything we choose to do in life has a purpose and holds a special meaning behind it.
For example, someone deciding to give up red meat may do so to improve his or her own health. By staying focused on healing their body and maintaining good health, they are less likely to consume red meat despite pressure from others or their own temptations. Do not lose focus on why you started!
Stop comparing yourself to others.
We are each here for a special purpose and bring our own unique sets of gifts and traits. This is what helps to set us apart from one another. Variety truly is the spice of life! if everyone was only good at the same things, our world would be dull and lifeless. The human race would cease to evolve since no one would have any new ideas or talents to bring to the table.
We must remember that everyone is on their own journey in this life so rather than focusing on someone else’s talents, we must identify and harness our own. in fact, once you’ve discovered what you’re good at, and developed parts of yourself, find others who can compliment your strengths and collaborate!
Start becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.
I first heard this saying on a Jillian Michaels fitness DVD 3 years ago and have held it in my mind since. Anytime we set out on a new journey, we risk facing challenges, hurdles, and scrutiny from others. It’s important to fully embrace these uncomfortable situations and own them instead.
Understand that these challenges come with the territory of wanting to improve your life. Remind yourself that if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. You will be faced with problems that appear to bear no solutions. However, know that if you persevere regardless of how futile your efforts seem, you will ultimately reach your destination; who knows, you may even learn a thing or two along the way.
Look back at how far you’ve come.
Many people think that the only way to keep moving forward is to stop looking back. However, I think It’s extremely important to frequently look back not only to remind ourselves of where we’ve been, but to also motivate us to push harder. Chances are, if we were each to observe our life from just one year ago, we would likely spot several ways that we’ve evolved and changed in some way.
The same goes for progress. When we think we aren’t making any progress in our efforts, It’s crucial to remind ourselves of what we’ve accomplished thus far. Doing this puts us back on track and reminds us that our efforts aren’t going to waste. Next time you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything, look back and notice how far you’ve come!
Work even harder.
Sometimes, our self doubt creeps in when we feel like we aren’t doing all that we can to get ahead. whether we skipped a few days of work, cheated on our diet, or let ourselves get caught up in mind-numbing reality shows, It’s never too late to get back on track. We must have the self-discipline to shift our focus back to our goals and avoid getting trapped by the distracting noises of life (literally & figuratively).
When we finally sit down and work on what we need to do, our self-confidence returns and we begin to feel a sense of achievement. I call this momentum and It is an extremely simple yet powerful way to get ahead in anything that you’re trying to accomplish.
Whatever it is that you have set out to do, you must understand that it won’t be easy, but it WILL be worth it. Persistence, self-discipline, and as I like to call it, old fashioned grit, will take you from where you are, to where you want to be.
Your dream and the desire to fulfill it, has been given to you for a special purpose so don’t ever lose sight of it. Remember, failure isn’t falling down, It’s refusing to get back up.