My open letter to the Mom who’s been body shamed

Hi there fellow Mama. I wanted to let you know that you’re beautiful, even on days when you feel like you aren’t and that you’re falling apart. Yes, even on days like that, you are beautiful inside AND out. I know your body’s changed a lot since having kids, mine has too. They say losing weight after pregnancy is easy, they promised that breastfeeding and running after your toddler would be enough to get your pre-pregnancy body back. They lied.

The bad eating habits you picked up during your pregnancy when you couldn’t stomach anything besides pizza and bread never really went away and have only been perpetuated by the fact that you now have no time to do anything some nights let alone cook a healthy meal. I get it, there are nights when ordering a pizza or eating Goldfish crackers for dinner is my only choice, too. On top of everything, you’re tired. Beyond tired. So exhausted some days that you may even forget to eat.

Instead of getting back into your old jeans, you’ve had to revamp your wardrobe and throw out all your favorite outfits including a few pairs of boots. Like me, you probably gave yourself a few months or a couple of years to see if maybe, you’d shed the weight before doing so. You probably even had a gym membership for a while and worked out religiously yet the weight still stayed, lingering like the sun on a hot summer day.

What makes it all worse is that other’s don’t seem to understand. Well meaning friends and family may throw subtle hints (or not so subtle hints in my case) that you’ve put on some weight–as if we aren’t already reminded by it day after day when we look in the mirror. As if we haven’t cried in fitting rooms when a dress we so desperately wanted to wear wouldn’t go up past our thighs and it was the highest size at the store.

Many people don’t realize that their sh*tty remarks and cheap shots are hurtful beyond words and don’t understand that many of these so called “fat moms” have tried everything including starving themselves to lose the weight. Many of them may have developed an underlying illness or hormonal imbalance that has negatively impacted their metabolism. Many of these Mom’s are single, work full time, and have very little support in raising their children making it difficult to find time to put their health and fitness first. Some are battling depression and/or anxiety and can barely get out of bed some days. We are all struggling in some way that is invisible to others.

The truth is, I can tell you not to worry about any of it and to ignore the critics but I’d be a hypocrite. I too have been guilty of letting people’s words get me down. But we’re in this together. Next time you hear another Mother getting body shamed, stand up for her even if it’s done behind her back. Let judgmental individuals know that there’s always more to the story than what meets the eye and understand that sometimes, people pass judgement because they genuinely don’t know any better.

We live in a society where there is so much emphasis put on being thin that it can leave us with a skewed image of our own bodies. You have helped bring a life into this world and your body has carried, nurtured, and birthed your beautiful child(ren). You are a goddess, you are WONDERWOMAN, please know that you are loved and cherished. Learn to love your body just as it is, buy clothing that flatters your new figure and try your best to eat as healthy as possible even if means cutting a few corners here and there to do so. Focus less on weight loss and more on health, trust me, it will make you feel good even if the numbers on the scale or measuring tape don’t budge.

Finally, please know that you are NOT alone in your struggles and when people judge you, it says more about them than it does about you.

Love, a fellow “body shamed” Mother. XOXO

3 COMMENTS

  1. Sarah Vieira | 22nd Feb 17

    This is such a beautiful post my friend! Such a good reminder that we are much more than our appearance or the scale shows. A healthy mindset and healthy habits is the key to feeling great in the skin we live in. We are much so much more!

  2. Traci York | 5th Mar 17

    Awesome message, Innana! Thanks for sharing such inspiring words!

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